Time passes from one second the other. Each second that passes is one more I will never be able to retrieve. If I were to look back on my life, I wonder what I would have to be proud of. What would be my legacy and what would others have to say about me? A few somewhat interesting things have come about in my life as of lately. For one of my classes I was required to have a language partner. I feel this is a very good thing. So now I have one, but I feel too afraid to speak. I lack confidence and more than before, this is clear to me. Before this characteristic was only pointed out to me by others, but in this case it is made clear to me. I want to do well and be successful in life. However if I ever want to truly gain happiness and freedom of expression I need to find a way to break down this barrier that I have artificially created.
Putting all of this aside, I have also determined that issues I have had in the past have not truly been resolved. Some of my earlier posts reflect these issues. I believe the key factor to most of my self-inflicted problems, is not truly knowing who I am. When a person finally discovers his or herself, I believe that life can unfold easier. Part of this self-discovery is up to the individual. The other part of the discovery is the person discovering who she or he is in Christ. Currently, I am trying to discover who I am relative to everyone else in this society. Still I find myself separated. I hate being different and yet I also hate being categorized. I want to ask people what it is that truly divides us? What is it that could truly divide us after all of the clothes and outward appearances are stripped away? We possess minds that are capable of recording experiences and in turn are shaped by those experiences. Every single individual that is around the world is different and no matter if they grew up in the same place and under the same environment, they are ultimately different from each other. This is also true about identical twins. They are almost biologically identical and yet are still different as early as in the womb due to different environmental factors that affect the various genes. I want to present this question to people from all over the world. What is it that makes us all so different from each other? And why do we need to be divided and how can you divide humans when in truth there are no definite divisions presented outside of physical appearances?
1 comment:
Dear Mila, you've pointed out some questions have bothered me for long as well. The truth is: we're NOT supposed to have categories, classes, labels, and something else for our fellowmen in God's sight; I'm guilty of it though. I rebuke myself every time when I judge a person unintentionally. Yes, to me, it's that hard to not judge people but I'm practicing hard not to. Christ won't judge any of us and think we're inferior just because of our natural attributes, such as shyness and lack of courage. Yet he truly is delighted in our improvements. I guess the only way to break through the barriers we all have is to put the trust in Him that if we do our best to improve, he will love us no matter we finally overcome or not. I think that's the attitude and our free will matter. I will always remember you have a gentle, warm heart and always so thoughtful for your friends. I will also remember your artistic side. And you're still so young; there's a bright, unknown future awaits you! Do you know that? You're truly a child of God and it won't change whether you can speak to your language partner in an extroverted manner. Just keep moving forward, remember the good virtues you already have, and always remember that God loves you abundantly. And I love you as the way you are too!
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