Thursday, June 26, 2008

Every second I am with you is like a dream


Life is both wonderful and cruel. I have learned to guard myself against the world. Although there remains one thing that presses hard on my soul. I have always had problems opening up to people. I am not close to many. I have tried so hard to not become attached to others and yet here I am facing one of the greatest obstacles of my life. Maybe it isn't really that serious, but it affects me in everything that I do. The phrase "Every second I am with you is like a dream" perfectly describes how I live. The only time I am truly happy is when I am with him, the one I have fallen in love with. But what is the point? A dream is only a dream. A figment of one's imagination. Once you awaken, it is all gone. No matter how real it seems, reality stands as a rude awakening. The thing about love is no matter what you do or tell yourself, if it is true, you will have no control over how you feel. I do not choose to feel this way, I only want to go on with my life being perfectly content with never feeling anything at all. Truly I wish this could be how it is.
Love is cruel. It follows you around, plays tricks on your mind, and binds your soul holding on to your mind and heart. Because of my true love, I am unable to move on, to see what is before me. I am a slave to my heart. I can only love him and still so while knowing he could never care for me no matter what I do or how I change. That is why love is cruel and also why I will never find true happiness.
I love you, you love me not, I will always love you and you will never care. I am lonely once again only seeking peace in your smile. A week without seeing you is a eternity of pain. Now I live only for release. I never asked to feel this way, I only wish that for once in my life someone would love me too.
Love is cruel and unforgiving. Love is pain and love is loneliness.
I only wish I could be given a chance. For once I only wish I was given a chance.
Sorry I can not be more perfect.

These are my personal feelings not meant to be interpreted any particular way.