Peace in Direction continued

Everyday I have to face this same divide. Even though we may be close, we can never really have a connection. Ok so people with multiple backgrounds feel left out. There is definitely more to it. From my experience, people find ways of making these feelings of exclusion worse. I have always hated people to ask me “what are you?” or “what is your background?” The question alone is reasonable, but what can I say? I do not want to go through the list. There is not one that is over another and when people ask and you answer there is always a “no way” or “you are lying”. They assume I am lying and that one group I list is perhaps a minuscule percentage such as 12%. Well no! Why cannot people except this. They want to know what group makes up the majority. I am what I have said and if you do not believe me, there is nothing I can do. So I do not tell people.
Lately I have realized something more that deals with background or maybe even origin. Some people will not date outside of their “race”. This has been around for a while, but I kind of thought that maybe it was not so much an issue anymore. So I hope that it is clear what I am trying to explain. No identity, not background, equates to no relationships, no future and further loneliness. So I feel now I am not only unable to find an identity within a group of people, but now no matter what I do I will always be alone and unloved. It really hurts. It doesn’t matter who you are or how nice you are, they don’t care because you are not apart of their group. Even worse is when you are part of their group and just because you don’t look a certain way or because you are not “pure blood” you are still nothing to them; worthless. Perhaps these words are in reflection of personal experience. Some people fine there place, but with discovery, does not a certain divide take place. So if I feel more comfortable with these people over another… does that mean I am rejecting part of who I am? So everyday I wish I were someone else, someone better than who I am, for the person I love and for those around me. I want to be better than others too and show them that I am kind, caring, loving and determined. Then maybe they will accept me. I know it seems dumb, but this is what some people have to go through. But from all of this, I have become able to see the world differently than others. I do not see a Latino person or an Asian person, I see a human being and an individual. This perspective I would not trade for anything and I wish I could clearly share it with the world. Perhaps if people all over the world would understand as I do, there would not be genocide, discrimination, superiority complexes, and violence between people. I wish it could be this way. There is more I wish I could say, but for now I have to be silent about this issue.